The Devil Made Me Do It

The Devil Made Me Do It (by graphicsfactory.com)

Have you ever done something you knew you shouldn’t do?  Something that before you even got started, you knew was wrong.  But that little devil with the pitchfork on your left shoulder won over the haloed angel on your right?  So you did it anyway and then said to yourself, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Seriously, NOW you change?? (image via graphicsfactory.com)

Traffic was horrible the other afternoon and the particular red light at which I was stopped was taking forever to change to green.  A notification that I have two voicemails has been displayed on my cell phone for 5 days.  One of the voicemails was left by someone who I tried to avoid, but after they called my office, my cell, and my office again I reluctantly accepted the call at 4:59 pm on a Friday.  It turned into a 10-minute conversation about the fact that the gentleman was going to send me an email.  He could have sent it, I could have read it, and we all could have started our weekend on time if he’d just sent the damn email instead of calling to talk about it first!

Anyway, back to the red-light, I want this notification off my phone and all I have to do is listen to the voicemails.  I shouldn’t be on my cell phone in traffic, but I’m at the red light sitting still.  What’s the harm?  So I pull up the voicemail and it begins to play “Hi Angry, I just wanted to let you know that I was about to send you an email but I wanted to give you a —”  Then I begin to hear ringing as if I’ve called someone.  I glance at my phone but at that moment the light turns green and traffic begins to move.  Oh crap!  I’m taking an on-ramp onto the highway – I can’t be looking at my phone!  But I remember that when you are listening to a voicemail there’s a BIG button that when pressed CALLS BACK THE PERSON WHO LEFT THE MESSAGE!!!!!  Crap, CRAP, CRAAAPPPPP!!!!!

What the !@#$ is that???

I’m still navigating my way through the traffic blindly jabbing at the phone trying to end the call and then I hear Matt pick up, “Hello?” pause “Hello???”  I’m still trying to merge into traffic.  I risk hundreds of lives and glance at my phone only to discover it’s on a screen I’ve never seen before and I have no idea how to hang up.  Oh dear Lord in Heaven it has finally happened.  I have finally aged to the point that I’ve become technologically inept.  I have become my mother-in-law!

Now a reasonable person would just say, “Oh hi Matt, it’s me, Angry, I called you by mistake.  Sorry about that.”  But no one has accused me of being a reasonable person in a long, long time.  What if he wanted to discuss more upcoming emails???  Oh for the love of Pete!  So I did what any semi-reasonable person would do.  I stayed very, very quiet . . . until he gave up and hung up.

I’m sure he has caller ID and knows it was me, but somehow having him think that I butt-dialed him unknowingly makes me feel better.  That right there is probably a sign that I need stronger meds.  <Sigh>  Anyway, next time I’m listening to the guy with the halo on the right.  At least chances are I’ll look less like an idiot!

12 thoughts on “The Devil Made Me Do It

  1. RVingGirl says:

    awe, so frustrating! I have “butt-dialed” my son long distance and he enjoyed ‘sharing’ a luch with me and my husband privy to all our private conversation. ha ha Actually we were at a pizza hut and playing trival pursuit at the time and if only I had heard him yell the answers into my back packet, I would have won the round! lol
    great post

  2. littlesundog says:

    The halo guy on my right shoulder reads a lot and files his finger nails. He’s on the plump side. He knows I’m going to let that left shoulder devil talk me into dozens of situations in a day. He is there as my post-therapist, gently bringing me out of anger at myself, telling me hang onto the lesson learned and to fahgeddaboudit and move on. The left-side devil is thin and constantly pacing. He’s continually jabbing me, and makes every opportunity to do wrong look so inviting. He’s actually a lot of fun sometimes!

  3. GOF says:

    I just admire that you were cool in the crisis and said nothing.
    Keep ’em wondering…..good policy. 🙂

  4. yearstricken says:

    How funny! It’s a good thing you didn’t do any heavy breathing.

    • I may have even held my breath at one point. I was just praying the navigation unit didn’t speak either. I’m always secretly afraid that thing is going to start chewing me out, “I SAID turn right dumb*$$!”

  5. ldsrr91 says:

    I close my eyes and I see this Angel, a picture of beauty, standing at the pearly gates, and she looks at me and says …. Welcome to hell, here is your cellphone!

    Nice, have a good weekend, and yeah, “he had caller ID and he KNOWS it was you.”

    Isn’t this grand, all this new technology?

    DS

    • That’s a very good description and yes – that would definitely be Hell! I’m about over all these technological advances we keep making. By the way, I know he knows, but he doesn’t know I know he knows. Get it?

  6. Barb says:

    I absolutely cannot drive and talk on the phone. Well…we have to be hands free here in OR, but that doesn’t matter. I have to park to talk. So I’m with you in this hilarious situation until I learn how to imitate a “You’re transmisstion is breaking up” call.

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