Have you ever done something you knew you shouldn’t do? Something that before you even got started, you knew was wrong. But that little devil with the pitchfork on your left shoulder won over the haloed angel on your right? So you did it anyway and then said to yourself, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Traffic was horrible the other afternoon and the particular red light at which I was stopped was taking forever to change to green. A notification that I have two voicemails has been displayed on my cell phone for 5 days. One of the voicemails was left by someone who I tried to avoid, but after they called my office, my cell, and my office again I reluctantly accepted the call at 4:59 pm on a Friday. It turned into a 10-minute conversation about the fact that the gentleman was going to send me an email. He could have sent it, I could have read it, and we all could have started our weekend on time if he’d just sent the damn email instead of calling to talk about it first!
Anyway, back to the red-light, I want this notification off my phone and all I have to do is listen to the voicemails. I shouldn’t be on my cell phone in traffic, but I’m at the red light sitting still. What’s the harm? So I pull up the voicemail and it begins to play “Hi Angry, I just wanted to let you know that I was about to send you an email but I wanted to give you a —” Then I begin to hear ringing as if I’ve called someone. I glance at my phone but at that moment the light turns green and traffic begins to move. Oh crap! I’m taking an on-ramp onto the highway – I can’t be looking at my phone! But I remember that when you are listening to a voicemail there’s a BIG button that when pressed CALLS BACK THE PERSON WHO LEFT THE MESSAGE!!!!! Crap, CRAP, CRAAAPPPPP!!!!!
I’m still navigating my way through the traffic blindly jabbing at the phone trying to end the call and then I hear Matt pick up, “Hello?” pause “Hello???” I’m still trying to merge into traffic. I risk hundreds of lives and glance at my phone only to discover it’s on a screen I’ve never seen before and I have no idea how to hang up. Oh dear Lord in Heaven it has finally happened. I have finally aged to the point that I’ve become technologically inept. I have become my mother-in-law!
Now a reasonable person would just say, “Oh hi Matt, it’s me, Angry, I called you by mistake. Sorry about that.” But no one has accused me of being a reasonable person in a long, long time. What if he wanted to discuss more upcoming emails??? Oh for the love of Pete! So I did what any semi-reasonable person would do. I stayed very, very quiet . . . until he gave up and hung up.
I’m sure he has caller ID and knows it was me, but somehow having him think that I butt-dialed him unknowingly makes me feel better. That right there is probably a sign that I need stronger meds. <Sigh> Anyway, next time I’m listening to the guy with the halo on the right. At least chances are I’ll look less like an idiot!